It's delicate. Threatens to burst at rough proddings of the cruel teaser.
All is not lost.It can be weather proven. Just needs a helping hand.Stick a bit and find out , wont ya?
The tricky part of your make over.....
Lose the Losers
Look around you. Tonnes of them congregating in miserable circles everywhere. I have seen fewer flies on a dead cow!(in movies but you get the gist!)
The first on the hit list would be the Moaners.
"oooh look at the LV bag I got as a gift , it's not even the latest edition!"*wail*
You quickly toss your $20 knock off LV under the nearest seat.
"OH NO!My Omega has been damaged!!Can you see it?" snubbing the watch right in your face where for the life of you ,cannot see the imaginary scratch.
Then again you were not blessed with xray vision.Blame your mum for not getting it on with Superman!
These moaners are your typical show offs in disguise.Belittling subtly(obviously not that subtle!) every thing that you possibly own by PRETENDING to whinge their grouses over their obscenely priced products.
Hell, you could never afford a real LV. Not even if you sell your mum!Or toss your grandmother in for a better deal!
Materialistic items do not maketh a man.You do not need to be around someone as shallow.
Toss and move along!
Next the Aura Sappers.
Negativity follows them like a swarm of bees. They find the bleakest , saddest moment in every aspect of their pathetic lives and unfortunately yours too.
They rejoice in the downfall of happiness.
Your long awaited job promotion.." oh no, now you will be the first to be axed!".
Your ideal boyfriend " yes I am sure he loves you as much as he loves the other whores he hangs out with"
Being with morons like these is draining.
You do become part of the company you keep.
Choose the happy happy people.( For some reason the song YMCA is playing in my head!)
The bitches
Always smiling to your face while gnashing their ferocious teeth behind your back, eager to get a juicy bit out of you.(If the bitch does actually bite please make way to the nearest hospital for your rabies shot)
Putting you down is their forte.Forcing you to doubt your own achievements and capabilities.Sing with gusto as you do the bitch sweep.
Move Bitch Get Out the way ..GET Out the way bitch..get out the way!
The Family
Certainly do not mean the ones who have raised you to be the good woman you are.(well in their eyes maybe!)
The aunt who is more spittle than words. The cousin who lurks around in the shadows. The wicked granny! I was afraid this would start to sound like a C grade horror movie but hey!you know what I am talking about. Ditch the people who never made a difference in your life. Who never held your clammy hands.Who were simply not there.
Easier said than done.
Here are a few successful steps in getting rid of the UN-WANTEDS.
- Delete them from Facebook and what have you.Then block them for good measure.
- Refuse to attend any gatherings with the unwanteds present.
- Feign illness. AIDS always do the trick.
- Still not working? Ask to borrow a ridiculous sum of money and see them run!!Each time they try to creep back into your life, double the sum you want to borrow.Promise solemnly that you will pay them back once you marry Brad Pitt.
Now that we have ditched almost everyone, you are good to go.
It's always better to have lesser people in your life than truckloads of shites who do not give 2 hoots about you. It gets exhausting trying to keep up appearances and worrying about the endless possibilities of what could be.With the list now short and sweet we have lesser problems .yaaay!!
With the outward negative influences almost gone, let's work on what's inside.
I AM A WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!
Confidence is not about how pretty or sexy people think you are. Its about how sexy and pretty you think you are!!
Yup, it's actually that simple.
Embrace your cellulite, zits and all. Hell, they are but a part of you.
Ever notice a lesser attractive girl get more attention holding high her head, rocking a bikini(or whatever!) than a prettier one skulking in the shadows? Looking comfortable in your own skin is the key to looking good. Tugging , pulling at an outfit is all unbecoming.Wear what looks good on you and flaunt it.If only I had a dollar for everyone who asked me why I look good.
It's about loving yourself, flaws and all.
Look happy.
Not crazy psycho baring all teeth kind. People tend to be attracted to happy people. If you look like you are having fun, other would want to join you. This old children's playground theory has stood the tests of time.Everyone wants to be part of the fun.
Seen a ugly chick with a hot dude? She has hypnotized the dude into thinking she is the best he can ever get because she believes that. Power of Faith. Never doubt that one.
Learn to say Thank you!
Do us all a favour, shut up and say thank you.
When someone gushes "oh you look so pretty tonite!", don't brush it off with "what me?!!naaah!".
Just say THANK YOU.Not that difficult. Even an imbecile can master that.
And please do keep that psycho neurotic bitch in check by not lashing out " what do you mean by tonite?!Huh?How did I look other nites?!!TELL ME!!!"
Treat others how you would like to be treated.
Who have not seen the pent up frustrations of an ugly woman vented on an unsuspecting service staff?
I did short stints of waitressing and sales during my good ole uni days.
It's an eye opening humbling experience that everyone should at least encounter once in their lives.
Once you dorn your work wear you become a low classed being.
Be prepared to be shouted at, interrogated(customer:why is the fish not fresh?!!Me all indignant, "how the f*** would i know, I didnt go catch it!!" ) and clicked at.I was up to my eyeballs one night working a full restaurant then I heard this clicking sounds, something like a house lizard would make.Of course curiosity got the better of me. The offending sound had come from a dumbass patron who was trying to get my attention to take his order. Of course I never did approach that table.Even though he was drop dead gorgeous.
To me he was a bug eyed wart ridden toad!
A smile means a lot.Speaks volumes where words can't. Don't stinge on it dearies.
Having a bad day?Then make someone else's day a good one.
A smile makes anyone beautiful.It defies gravity, throws light into the eyes.Go ahead and give it a shot!
Doesn't cost a thing and hey!makes you look hot!
Till we meet again folks......
